The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
