i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I want a musical about memes.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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