He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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