No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
