Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
