This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
