"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
