I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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