operation harelip BJ is a go
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
