Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
