Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize