and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize