We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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