I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
