On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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