i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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