used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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