Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
