do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
