Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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