my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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