Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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