i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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