Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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