I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
