And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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