but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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