Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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