i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
