Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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