Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
