Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
