you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
