are you still at the devil's house?
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Found your dick twin last night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
