(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
