I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I want her autograph on my taint
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
