i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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