dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
