That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
