But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
