ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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