I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
