Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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