it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We are all done wearing pants today
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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