you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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