I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
