you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
