There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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