She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
