3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
