Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The uberlube is also flammable
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
