as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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