Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
