i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
