My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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