yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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