i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
