I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I could make wine with my vomit
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
