sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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