He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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