last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
