Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize