god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
