Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
