fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
