And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
