how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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