thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
