I could have mohawked her pubes.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
