dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
