the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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